"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago
listen, son. if there was really a monster in your closet this would be a huge new discovery. honestly you getting mauled would be pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things if you think about it
my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back
honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
My school has security cameras in every classroom and I’ve done this at least 3 times each class this entire year. Today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero.